If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
