I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
