She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
