She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
