thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
