yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
