i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
