I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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