Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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