plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
