What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize