This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
