can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
