VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she told me i tasted like america
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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