I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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