Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is wine microwaveable?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
