i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
