Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
