my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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