bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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