How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
