Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
