I wannas sexs uuuuu
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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