This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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