Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
