i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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