I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
