omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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