So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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