I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
