I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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