He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
