Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize