Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
