We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
