Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
