shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize