Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Randomize
