I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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