there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
