what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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