He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
