Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
