If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
