No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
