If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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