I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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