His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
