what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
