Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
