tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
