spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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