I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
