You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
