let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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