too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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