he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Fuck appropriateness.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
