the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
