Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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