Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
